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Expect The Best From God!

Expect The Best From God!

Dr. Mouhamed N. Tarazi

 

The Prophet instructed us to make things easy and not to make them difficult, to cheer the people up by conveying glad tidings to them and not to repulse them.

He promised that he who dies associating nobody with Allah, will enter Paradise.

He conveyed to us, yet, a stronger hope. He promised that he who testifies sincerely that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah, Allah would prohibit the fire of Hell for him.

In what follows, I will put before you more glad tidings to cheer you up. I will include two narrations. One is a conversation between Aisha (r.a.a) and the Prophet (s.a.a.w) and the other is about a ruling by Allah (s.w.t) on the Day of Judgment, in a case involving an aggressor and his victim.  

Aish’s Demand

Aisha (r.a.a) is sitting facing her beloved husband, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.a.w). She notices that he is cheerful and in a very good mood. She seizes this golden moment and demands a favor from him.    

This is a smart move on the part of Aisha. Men, in general, are easier to deal with and more receptive to demands (particularly from the wives and children) when they are cheerful and happy.  

“Make dua’ for me! Oh Messenger of Allah.” Aisha asks the Prophet just to pray for her.

Is that all that you want Aisha?  

The prophet then supplicates:

“O Allah! Forgive Aisha’s sins, past and future.”

Wow! What an amazing response! Aisha feels so happy and starts to chuckle to the point where her head drops onto his lap.

 “Did you like my dua’ for you, Oh Aisha? He asks.

“Of course, what a wonderful dua’, oh Messenger of Allah,” she replies.

Then he looks at her and says:

 “By Allah, I repeat this dua’ for my umma (nation) in every salah (prayer).

Allahuakbar! He (s.a.a.w), in every prayer he performed (tens of thousands of times), asked Allah to forgive our sins, past and future. He, as Allah says, was forgiven his sins past and future, and he wanted this to apply to his followers as well.

The Mother of All Intercessions

 When Prophet Muhammad (s.a.a.w) read what Abraham (a.s) supplicated:

 “He who follows me is one of mine and he who disobeys me (is going astray) - But You are indeed oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”.

And what Jesus (a.s) prayed: “If you punish them, they are your servants, and if you forgive them, verily You, only You, are the All-Mighty, the All-Wise”

He, Muhammad, understood that the two great messengers, Abraham and Jesus, were asking forgiveness even for those who chose not to follow them. He then raised his hands, cried and pleaded,

 “My nation, My nation!”

Then Allah sent Angel Gabriel to comfort him and assure him that he would be pleased in regards to his ummah and would not be sorrowful. Let’s not forget that every prophet was given a special wish and every prophet used up his wish except Muhammad. He saved his wish as a shafa’a  (intercession) for his ummah on the Day of Judgment. It will be honored for everyone who dies without associating anything with Allah.

That day, his intercession will help those from his ummah, whose good deeds are equal to their bad deeds, to enter Paradise. People ordered to go to Hell will be pardoned, by his intercession, before even entering Hell. Those who end up in Hell will be released to go to Paradise, as a result of his continued intercession.

In fact, that day the door of intercession will be open. All prophets, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and the rest and the angels, the righteous people, and martyrs will be called to intercede. Children will intercede for their parents and will refuse to enter Paradise without then. Parents will intercede for their children. Spouses will intercede for each other. Believers will intercede for their friends. Then the mother of all intersessions comes: Allah’s mercy, when He orders to take out of Hell all those who have faith in their hearts, equal to the weight of a barley grain!

A High Court Ruling

On the Day of Judgment, two men sit side by side before Allah (s.w.t), in a court of law. The wrongdoer and his victim.

“Oh Allah! He had wronged me in the worldly life and I want justice,” the victim starts, pointing at the other man.  

The wrongdoer may have stolen money from the victim, or may have slandered him, or may have beat him. And now is the time for restitution.

“Pay him back!” Allah orders the wrongdoer.

“I don’t have any more good deeds to give him.” The wrongdoer sadly replies. With no more good deeds he is doomed and headed to Hell he thinks.

Then Allah asks the victim what he would like to do since the wrongdoer is completely out of good deeds to give him.

“Okay! Let him bear some of my bad deeds!” the victim insists.

In the Hereafter this will be the way restitutions will take place. The wrongdoer will give his victims from his own good deeds and when he is out of them he, the wrongdoer, will receive from his victims bad deeds until justice is served.

Suddenly the victim raises his head and glances around and says, “Oh my Lord!  I see golden cities and golden portraits engulfed with pearls. To which prophet, truthful person, or martyr do they belong?”

“To he who could buy it and pay for it,” Allah responds.

“Oh my Lord! Who can afford the price?” The victim wonders.

“You can pay for it,” Allah adds.

“How come?” The victim now very surprised.

Allah says, “It’s yours if you forgive your brother (The wrongdoer)”

“Oh Allah! I forgave him,” the victim quickly says.

Then Allah announces the formidable verdict, addressing the victim:

“Hold your brother’s hand and take him with you to Paradise”

The Most Cheerful Verse

One short verse in the Quran contains three thrilling glad tidings. Each one of the three, alone, should cheer you up.

“Say, Oh My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah.”

Subhanaallah! Do not despair of the mercy of Allah! This is the first glad tiding.  Then Allah mentions the second glad tiding:

 “Indeed, Allah forgives all sins.”

Allah forgives all sins! What a great news. Lastly Allah seals the verse with the third glad tiding:

 “Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." 

So look forward to your rendezvous with God in Paradise, Ishaallah. And remember to always expect the best from God until you meet Him.

School Principal Position

 

School Principal Position

 

Sunrise Academy, central Ohio's only fulltime private chartered Islamic School currently has a position open as a School Principal  

Job requirements for the position are as follows:

 

- Master's in Education or higher, Ohio Teaching License or Equivalent, Principal License Preferred

- At least 2 years of experience in an American classroom setting and/or American school administration 

- Strong verbal and written communication skills in English

- Strong knowledge in the use of technology in the classrooms

- Must be able to work within the USA

 

Qualified candidate should be able to work in a multicultural environment and be interested in fostering a climate of high academic achievement. 

Qualified candidates are encouraged to e-mail their resume to the School Board Human Resources Committee at   

board@sunriseacademy.net

 

For more information about Sunrise Academy, please refer to the website at www.sunriseacademy.net.

 

Terrorists don’t represent Muslim beliefs

 

Letter to The Dispatch

January  13, 2015

 

Dr. Mouhamed N. Tarazi

 

 

 

   As president of the Islamic Society of Greater Columbus, I would like to publicly express the outrage and horror of our community about the murders conducted by three terrorists in France who claimed to be acting in the name of Islam. They were no more good Muslims than the terrorists of the Ku Klux Klan were good Christians, lynching people and burning crosses to silence protest to their social-order ideas.

   The Prophet Muhammad was scoffed at and ridiculed many times. He was called a liar, a magician and a lunatic, among other things by people openly trying to dissuade people from his message. He never responded to these people with violence and he stopped some among his followers who wanted to defend him using violence. Poets mocked him and he asked some other poets to respond in kind. He insisted on a code of conduct that had three points of consideration.

• You are allowed to defend yourself when others attack you, but not to exceed the level of force brought against you. (i.e., If someone defames you with words you can respond in words, not with guns.)

• Your defense should not allow you to respond in a way that will debase you and corrupt your soul (i.e., Don’t torture others even if their group has tortured yours, because this behavior is immoral.)

• If you have the power to be forgiving, God loves those who forgive.
The tactics of al-Qaida and Islamic State, like those of the Nazis, the Ku Klux Klan, and others, are generally robe themselves in religious rhetoric to rationalize their behavior, while they betray the basic tenets of their faith.

   As a leader in the local Muslim community, I have been in meetings between the FBI, Homeland Security and other government officials and our local Muslim organizations. We look to continue protecting our community from those who would try to subvert our members.

 

http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/editorials/2015/01/13/1-terrorists-dont-represent-muslim-beliefs.html

Journey to Kuwait under Occupation

Journey to Kuwait under Occupation

Dr. Mouhamed N. Tarazi

Saddam Hussain invaded Kuwait in August, 1990.  As time passed and days became months, it became clear that Saddam would not leave Kuwait without putting up a fight, despite international pressure. 

Some foreign nationals living in Kuwait, who were out of Kuwait during the invasion, started going back during the months of September through November. They went to claim their possessions before all hell broke loose and ‘the mother of all battles’ as Saddam then called it, would start. 

In this memoir, the author recounts his 14,000-mile, month-long journey through Jordan and Iraq to Kuwait during the Iraqi occupation, in an effort to recover what was left of his family possessions.

Acclaim for Journey to Kuwait under Occupation

"One of the best books I've read! Words seem inadequate but it's compelling, touching, scary and just riveting. I was breathless when I finished it. A short read, very engaging, and I highly recommend it."   E. Nasser 

"What a great book! Once i started reading, i couldn't stop! It is so well written that i felt like i was living the adventure myself!"  sbakeer

"This is a must read. I couldn't put it down..... I was on pins and needles and kept turning the pages .... As a Christian i learned to value, appreciate and respect different religous perspectives and the author opened my eyes to this beautiful religion."  strommv "MARGOT" 

"A dramatic window in time for a brave soul and, for me, an historical events refresher independent of the usual media perspective. Thank you for the insight, Dr. Tarazi"  Clinton E

"It is compelling and interesting, and retells a journey that most of us would not ever have a chance to make."  T. Strombotne "Tracy" 

"A great story of a father's journey from Ohio to Kuwait under extremely tense circumstances...... This book offers a great perspective of someone who has lived life successfully in the Middle East, Europe, and the USA. A relevant voice on a often controversial subject."  Josh Almanson

The book is now available in eBook Format ($2.99)
 and in Paperback Format ($4.95) 

  at Amazon

There is Always Another Way

Over the last few years I’ve been writing and posting short stories on my blog. I chose ten of these stories to include in this small book. Six of them are true stories that I lived or witnessed. When I described real events, I changed identities and details as needed to protect the privacy of others.

I included one on the occasion of the birth of Prophet Jesus (AS), and another on the occasion of the birth of Prophet Muhammad (SAAW).

The rest are ‘realistic fiction’. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Each and every story delivers one or more moral lessons. The hope is that the readers will enjoy the stories and benefit from them in their personal lives.

Acclaim for There is Always Another Way

“Dr. Nabih Tarazi has acquired much knowledge and wisdom over the years in his roles as a spiritual leader, community activist, and family counselor. In this collection of short stories, he reflects on life lessons he has learned and wishes to share. His stories inspire us. They challenge us to remain patient and take the high road. They encourage us to trust in God’s plans. These stories extend the mentorship and gentle guidance that Dr. Tarazi has brought to his community for decades to a new audience of readers, inspiring them to navigate life’s challenges in a spiritually uplifting way.”

-Dr. Asma Mobin-Uddin, Author of My Name is Bilal, The Best Eid Ever, and A Party in Ramadan

 

"A nicely written collection of short stories by Dr. Tarazi. Dr.Tarazi employs simple language and story form to convey deep and complex ideas and traditions. His simple yet straightforward approach drives the message home without any ambiguity. It is a book about traditions and morals and is a must read for all.”

-Khaled Shammout, Author

 

“I really enjoyed reading the stories. Each one had an excellent lesson/reminder that stuck with me.”

-Rima Dabdoub, Language Arts Teacher

The book is now available in Paperback Format ($6.95)

and in eBook Format ($2.95)

at Amazon.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Abdinur Sh. Mohamed Minister of Education, Higher Education and Culture

Please join me in congratulating one of our community members and pray for peace and stability in Somalia
 
 

Dr. Abdinur Sh. Mohamed,
 Minister of Education, Higher Education and Culture

http://www.hiiraan.com/news2/2010/Nov/somali_prime_minister_unveiled_his_cabinet.aspx

Commonalities in Abrahamic faiths By Dr. Abdinur Mohamud

On September 17, 2010, Mayor Colman, accompanied by various religious leaders, visited Abubakar Asiddiq Islamic Center, under construction on the west side of Columbus. He then attended a Friday prayer at the present location of Masjid Abubakar, where Dr. Mohamud spoke and delivered the Khutba. Part of Dr. Mohamud's speech was later included in the Ohio Christian News Vol.83,Number 4, November 2010. a publication of Ohio Council of Churches.

WE ALL BELONG

A Rally for Inclusion

We gather to proclaim the truth that all of us -regardless of race, religion, age, economic class, ability, sexual orientation, gender identity or immigration status-deserve dignity and respect. We want our voices to be heard. We lift up the United States of America as a pluralistic democracy where all are created equal.

Please bring family and friends

Sunday, Oct. 31st, 2:30 pm
All are welcome!

First Congregational Church
444 E Broad St. Columbus, OH 43215

Organized by

of First Unitarian Universalist Church,
93 W. Weisheimer Road
Columbus, OH 43214.

And Co-Sponsored by 18 major local organizations

Here is a list of the speakers at the event:

1. Aaron Riley (New Leaf Columbus)
2. Amir Dada (Afghan American Muslim youth)
3. Dr. Jennifer Gilbride-Brown (Kaleidoscope Youth Center)
4. Rabbi H. Berman (Tifereth Israel)
5. Rev. Mark Belletini (First Unitarian Universalist Church: Organizer)
6. Rev. Susan K.Smith (Advent United Church of Christ)
7. Rev. Tim Ahrens (First Congregational Church: Host)
8. Rev. Virginia Lohmann Bauman (Church World Service, Ohio Field Director for Immigration Reform)
9. Ruben Castilla Herrera (Ohio Action Circle and former state Director, Reform Immigration for America)
10. Sr. Zeinab Schwen (State Director, Council on American Islamic Relations)

See full Flyer

Why should I vote? By M.N. Tarazi, Oct 7, 2010

"What is voting in Islam?, It isn't mentioned in the Quran!" my friend Abdullah asked.

Well our scholars understood that voting amounts to "given a testimony" and we Muslims are required to give testimony when called for:

"...The witnesses should not refuse when they are called on"

(Al-Baqarah 2:282)

However, this should not be understood that given testimony is obligatory only when the witness is summoned . The prophet (PBUH) said:

"Should I not tell you about the best of witnesses? It is he who brings his testimony before he is even asked." (Muslim)

Allah S.W.T also said:

"... and do not conceal testimony; for whoever conceals it,- His heart is tainted with sin. And Allah Knows all that you do. "

(Al-Baqarah 2:283)

Based on this, an overwhelming number of Islamic scholars declared that Muslim participation is permissible in all political aspects including voting, nominating, and running for public offices. Many went on to saying that such Muslim participation is obligatory and it is sinful if a Muslim is negligent in this kind of participation, especially if his "No Vote" caused the election of a candidate who is not best for the job or caused the passage of a measure that is not in the best interest, from an Islamic standpoint, of humanity in general and Muslims in particular.

Then Abdullah said, "Fine but does my vote really count? Back where I came from, the presidential election, for example, was always won by 99.999% of the votes!"

In true democracies you will not see the 99.999%. For example in the 2000 Presidential election , in Florida Bush got 2,912,790 votes while Gore got 2,912,253 votes. As a result Bush won the election by only 517 votes. Also in the 2008 general election for congress in the Ohio 15th district, Mary Jo Kilroy defeated Steve Stivers by only 2311 votes (most likely the Muslim votes) out of more than 304,000 cast.

I hope this convinces you how important is your vote!

"I really don't care since next year I'm going back home anyway!" Abdullah replied.

Well, Abdullah, I have been hearing you say this for the last 10 years and you're still hanging in here. The prophet (PBUH) said:

"If you happen to witness the start of the Day of Judgment and you have a plant and if you live enough just to plant it, then do so."(Ahmad & others)

So you owe it to yourself, to the country which opened its arms to you and gave you its citizenship, to the community in general and to the Muslim community to get out and vote for he or she who can do the best job and for the issue that benefits everyone.

Then Abdullah asked an important question, "Fine, fine. I should vote. But I don't know who is who. How can I vote?"

You are obligated to inform yourself on the issues and the candidates. Ask others if you don't. The League of Women Voters is a national organization with local chapters that is a good source of information on both candidates and issues, as are newspaper stories. Television ads, fliers published by a political party, and other ads may be poor sources of information. A meet the candidates event or a debate can give you some ideas about candidates.

You may argue that back in 2000 we followed the recommendations of knowledgeable Islamic organizations and we were wrong. True, but you do your best and what happen later is with God's hands and wisdom.

"Say: "I have no power over any good or harm to myself except as Allah wills. If I had knowledge of the unseen, I should have multiplied all good, and no evil should have touched me......."

(Al-A'raf 7:188)

"I need to confess I don't trust any candidate. They're all liars. They promise you so many things and once elected they break all their promises. Therefore I'm not voting!" Abdullah continued to argue.

They're not all the same. There are many honest and trustworthy candidates. Look for them. And circumstances they encounter once elected often sidetrack them or block them from doing many of the things they dream of. Most people go into politics, particularly at the local level, because they truly want to make things better. We have to be reasonable about the jobs we send them to do.

Undoubtedly you will not find a perfect candidate for any post, a candidate that agrees with you on all issues. Just use your best judgment and vote for the most suitable person for the position from the perspectives of moral character and qualifications for the position. And remember that each vote will affect you, your family and your community whether you voted or not.

So be part of the solution. Get off the couch and vote.

Finally Abdullah conceded and said:

"Thank you my friend. I will see you at the polls on November 2nd, Inshallah, and we all will vote for the best candidates and vote for issues that are good for the community in general and for us, the Muslim minority living in the West in particular."

OK, I might see you then, but we don't have to wait to the last day to vote. We can vote early in Franklin County if we go to 280 E. Broad Street instead of our regular polling places. You can find out the days and hours for early voting at

http://vote.franklincountyohio.gov/

Actually this website has important information for all voters, like what kind of ID to bring for voting and a sample ballot so you can prepare yourself better. If you aren't familiar with where your regular polling place is for voting on November 2, you can look it up on this website, as well as find out if you are correctly registered. You can report your changed address when you move as well. Each time you move you must correct your voter registration information.

Abdullah, let's spend the evening of November 2nd at my place watching the election results while having dinner together. I know a great chicken recipe and I'll kick it up a notch for you since you love hot spices.

Burn No Sacred BooksBy M.N.Tarazi, Sept 11, 2010

In the name of God ,
God of Noah (Nouh), Abraham (Ibrahim) Moses (Musa)Jesus (Issa) and Mohammad,
Most gracious Most Merciful
I greet you with the greeting of Islam and the greeting of Islam is Salam (Peace)So I tell you: Peace be upon you all.

The Quran teaches us why we're created different:

"O mankind! We created you from a single pair of a male (Adam) and a female (Eve) (Hawah) and made you into nations and tribes that you may know each other. 49:13"

And Islam encourages us to be positive contributing members of both our communities and our environment. Here are some of the teachings of Islam:

"God is the provider to all His creatures and the most beloved to God is those among you who are most beneficial to His creatures."

"If you happen to witness the start of the doomsday and you have a plant and if you live enough just to plant it then do so. "

"If a Muslim plants a tree, or sows a field and men and beasts and birds eat from it, all of it is charity from him".

Dear brothers and Sisters:

We gather here today as Americans and what is good for America is good for all of us and what hurts America hurts all of us. We Muslims are part of the society and serving all as doctors, engineers, teachers, business people.

Throughout history minorities have come under attack particularly during times of economic hardships. Our country is going through hardship today and some people are lashing out against minorities in their anxiety about the future. But we all need to all stick together and help each other through these difficult times. This is what will make our country strong again and among the great successes of nations in the world.

We condemned the act of few deranged men on 9/11 that caused the death of thousands of innocent men and women including many Muslims. Islam forbids the killing of innocent men and women. Islam even forbids the killing of birds except for the necessity of food.
We cannot learn to live together and break down the barriers that divide us unless we get to know each other better.

I would like to thank my friend Ray, Sister Zerqa and all those who worked hard to put together this great event . And we are calling for continued interfaith efforts for the benefit of all of us American. Please make sure before you leave to have some Baklava donated by the Islamic Society of Greeter Columbus

Presented at the Interfaith Solidarity Service, Sept 11, 2010

Burn No Sacred Books

An Interfaith Solidarity Service
To commemorate 9/11 and express solidarity with Muslim sisters and brothers who are being targeted by hate campaigns, including calls by Florida-based church to burn the Qur'an

Saturday, September 11, 2010, 2 pm
All are welcome!

First Unitarian Universalist Church
93 W. Weisheimer, Clintonville, Ohio

Please bring family and friends

See Full Flyer

Islamic Marriage Referral based on family networking By Dr. M.N.Tarazi, Aug 1, 2010

"Please find me a good husband for my daughter," a friend of mine asked me many times. Another mom asked my sister if she knows someone from "this country" for her 20 year old son. Another mother asked me to find a good Muslim girl for her son and a widow asked me to recommend someone to her! Many brothers and sisters have expressed their interest in getting married as well and complained about the difficulty in networking. So many men and women are trying hard to find the right spouse. With a diverse community such as ours it is extremely difficult to find someone from the few families that you know. We are spread out and lack large social networks.

There are many "Muslim Matrimonial" services online and a number of brothers and sisters are using them. Unfortunately I've personally witnessed some failed marriages from these services. I believe these were caused when compatibility was not determined well enough. And a large number of boys and girls do not feel comfortable putting out their pictures and their résumé online for the general public, so the services don't address the needs of many.

I'm launching this initiative www.islamicmarriagereferral.com where a data base of willing grooms and brides to be will be established and kept away from the general public. A team of respected brothers and sisters of our community, of diverse backgrounds, accepted to work as volunteers with me in sorting and studying the data base, inquiring about the families involved and providing counseling as needed.

When we feel a reasonable compatibility exists between a groom to be and a bride to be, then the families of the man and the women are contacted and introduced to each other. From that point on the families will find the best way for the boy and the girl to contact and speak to each other, in public spaces, by phone, through face book or e-mail. With Allah's help and blessing this will lead to a very successful marriage. For those without family or divorced or widowed individuals, we will contact close friends or relatives that they indicate, to assist in arranging introductions.

Some boys and girls are very much interested in getting married when they are young and even from a different culture but their families are opposed to such marriages. We will discuss and counsel the families in an effort to find a good compromise for the best interest of all.

Divorced and widowed people in our community particularly need assistance in finding new companionship. Our life spans are much longer than in past generations and the old model of parents living in their children's homes in their later years is not adequate for the needs of healthy active older people. We want to provide assistance to them.

We will provide pre and post marriage counseling to ensure the continuous success of the marriage, the most important institution in Islam.

At this stage of the project, priority will be given to residents of Ohio and the surrounding states. All candidates will be asked to submit references.

We ask Allah (s.w.t.) to bless this effort and help us establish and sustain successful marriages.

The Wife-Beating Issue and Its Impact On Our Community By Dr. M.N.Tarazi, July 17, 2010

"Your mother is so great that I did not have to beat her up once in the thirty years we have been married!" a father told his sons as he was trying to praise his wife.

"Every time she will talk back at me I will slap her," a brother told me as I was trying to provide marital counseling for him and his wife. Apparently he had "smacked" her before they came to see me. The mind boggling thing is that when I asked him, "What did she say to you that caused you to hit her?" he replied, "We had an argument and she provoked me so I said to her "Haywaneh!" (you're an animal!) Then she dared to talk back at me saying, "Inteh el Haywan" (you're the animal). Then I exercised my "God given right" to beat her up."

Though this is hardly a common idea in our community, if only a few brothers follow this misunderstanding of our religion, it damages their families and it damages our whole community.

The opponents of Islam often accuse Islam and Muslims of mistreatment of women and allowing men to beat up their wives referring to the Quranic verse 4:34. Unfortunately some Muslim men do strongly believe that this verse in the Quran gives them some "God given right" to beat their wives.

Yusuf Ali translated this verse as follows ".....As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) , refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly)..."

"disloyalty and ill-conduct" is how Yusuf Ali translated the Arabic term ''nushuz" coming from the wife towards her husband, while Muhammad Asad rendered it, in this context, as "ill-will" and explains it in his footnotes " Deliberate, persistent breach of her marital obligations". Ali and Asad, both used the word "beat" as a translation of the Arabic term "wadhribuhunne" derived from the verb "daraba" used in the verse.

Before we elaborate further on the issue of "beating" we immediately can see that the verse is exclusively addressing very specific and serious problems. Nushuz is not 'problems' or disputes that arise if you come home hungry and find your supper a bit salty, or not ready, or later in the evening if she irritates you by telling you all that happen to her that day, which may be of no interest to you at all, while you are watching the end of an adventure movie on Satellite TV. Nushuz is actions that violate the wife's marital obligations to her husband, like being untrustworthy or dishonest, or threatening his honor, his reputation, or refusing to have intimate relations with him (within the Islamic boundaries). Please note that "nushuz" can also happen from the husband towards his wife as indicated in the Quran and there are ways to deal with that too, but I chose not to cover that topic in this posting.

Quran and Sunnah teach us that Islamic marriage is build on mutual love, mercy, trust, respect, fulfilling each other's reasonable sexual needs, desire for having children, consultation and sharing etc. So how could "beating" fit into this beautiful picture of a model Islamic marriage!

Sheikh Mohammad Al-Ghazali (Rahimahu Allah)in his book, Women's Issues Between the Stagnant Traditions and the Imported Ones said, "I did not find , in the (Islamic) Shariah, a justification for the use of darb [beating] except in two circumstances;

1) the wife refuses to have sexual relation [as permitted and within the boundaries of Islam] with her husband

2)or even worse when she brings male outsiders into her home in the absence of her husband [which could ultimately lead to suspicion which can escalate to spying or to a beginning of cheating]."

He added that even in these extreme cases, when he, the husband, resorts to the 3rd step (beating) of the family dispute resolution plan [verse 4:34], it should be using a soft object such as miswak [a twig used as a toothbrush] and that is by the consensus of authorities, avoiding the face and without calling bad names or humiliating her.

Let's look at how this Quranic verse creates a three-step dispute resolution plan to reconcile a couple when the wife is in error, and supports the family structure. When a woman becomes rebellious or thoughtless of her husband and refuses to discharge her Islamic duties to her husband, the husband is asked to verbally express his frustration and unhappiness about the situation in a very nice way, (no cussing, no shouting, no humiliating). This kind of communication works very well in most situations. The wife cannot guess what is on her husband's mind, (especially during their first years of marriage), and continuous communication would avoid many problems. Some time should be given to this effort. (If he starts communicating nicely with his wife he may find out that her behavior is actually a response to some poor behavior on his part, like neglect or disrespect and they both have improvements to make.)

If this strategy does not work and the wife continues persistently to refuse to perform her duties under Islam, particularly refusing to have sexual relations (as permitted and within the boundaries of Islam) with her husband or playing games with her attractiveness, then the husband is asked to go to step two. In this step he purposely suspends sex relation.

When the man initiates the suspension of sex relations, this should send a powerful message to the wife expressing the degree of misery the husband is going through that pushes him to declare that his wife is no more attractive to him. It is recommended during this stage, which may last several months , that the husband continue to be kind to his wife and talk to her (suspension of talk for more than three days is forbidden). This method works with some women. They start thinking that their charm is no longer effective and that they are starting to lose their husbands and they will end the dispute.

Obviously, if the husband does not see improvement during this stage, then prolonging it will just be hurting him. Finally he can end this stage by going to step three.

One would wonder however, how barely touching the women's arm or leg (in step three) with such a soft object (miswak) could make any impact on her to change her mind about her behavior? Is there a different plausible interpretation of the word "wadhrebuhunne" of this third step?

Actually, the word "daraba" and some of its derivatives are used in the Quran 58 times with various shades of meaning, some of which are: to give examples, to explain, to set up, to take away, to ignore, to condemn, to cover, to seal, to strike or hit, to travel, to beat, to get out.

Back in 1995 Edip Yuksel wrote (in a forwarded e-mail message entitled "Beating Women, Or Beating Around The Bush") that the meaning of the term 'wadhribuhunne' , in this context, should be understood for the husband "to strike his wife out", (start the separation process which can lead to divorce), if the first and the second stage suggested in verse 4:34 don't work out.(This opinion is mentioned here for its historical place and relevance to the issue at hand and should absolutely not be considered as an endorsement to his overall philosophy and work on Islam and Islamic Issues).

This new understanding of the term 'wadhribuhunne' was echoed by Dr. Abdulhamid A. Abusulayman, President of The International Institute of Islamic Thought, in 2002 in his book Darb Al-Mara'ah:Wasilah li-Hall Al-Khilafat Al-Zawjiyah . Dr. Abusulayman is telling the husband at this stage to leave and distance himself from his wife. He supported his opinion by citing the action of the Prophet (pbuh) when he left all of his wives for one month, when they showed unhappiness with the way they were living and demanded a better lifestyle that the Prophet could not provide for them. Then he gave them a choice to accept his way of life or to divorce them. This is significant and demonstrates that a women cannot be forced to stay in a marriage she does not like.

After leaving the house, outside help and arbitration must be sought to get this dispute resolved in an equitable way. This is the first time when the issue should be brought out to outsiders for arbitration as indicated in the Quran. Nevertheless, at any stage of the dispute, husband and wife can and are encouraged to seek outside help and advice from trusted knowledgeable members of our community (avoid relatives if neutrality and objectivity could be questioned) and sometimes professional family counselors are of great need.

Finally, please remember that under no circumstances does Islam allow someone to, punch, shove, pinch, slap ,pull hair, curse, cuss, or insult his or her spouse. If fear of Allah doesn't impress someone, he should be reminded that in this country he may end up in jail if he uses force of any sort against his spouse. I have seen brothers arrested when they ignored my plea to them to avoid force and resorted to violence against their wives. (I have not witnessed a woman beating her husband (yet).)

I write this to advise our community to stand up to those who need education on this issue. Our community is not healthy if any of our families are torn by what is generally called domestic violence. We need to help our less knowledgeable brothers, and sisters as well. Please pass on this information to those in need. I wish for the best well being for all of our families.

2010 Columbus Community Cookout

Join CAIR-Ohio, Sunrise Academy, and ISGC for a FREE family community cookout! In addition to food, we will also have BOUNCE HOUSE for the kids, snow cone and popcorn machines, and

Ramadan craft activities.

Please bring a side dish or a dessert to share!

Abukar Arman's resignation from AIW Board on Jun 26, 2010

Bismillah

As-salaamu alaiakum dear Brothers and Sisters,

After long reflection, consultation, and istikharah to ask Allah (SWT) for guidance on this murky issue and flaming fitnah, I decided to submit my resignation, effective immediately.

Over the past several months, in private and in public, I have stated my position on this entire saga that divided our community. In a nutshell, I have highlighted the following points:

1) There is enough blame to go around: While the majority opted to remain silent, some vocal brothers and sisters have biasely sided with one party or another (often adding more fuel to the fire), and the remaining few chose to objectively focus their eyes on the big picture- saving our community and masjid. [in that priority]

2) The viable way to reach that end seemed either to exclude all the founding board members (as their differences seemed irreconcilable) or to co-opt all of them to become part of an expanded board

I accepted the nomination to the AIW board do whatever in my capacity to help our community mend its fences, and help the healing process to start so that we welcome Ramadan with clean hearts and sense of community.

At this stage, I am convinced that item # 2 is too fare-fetched, if not impossible. Wa-Allahu a'alam.

Wishing you the very best,

Your brother in Islam,
abukar arman