Why should I vote? By M.N. Tarazi, Oct 7, 2010

"What is voting in Islam?, It isn't mentioned in the Quran!" my friend Abdullah asked.

Well our scholars understood that voting amounts to "given a testimony" and we Muslims are required to give testimony when called for:

"...The witnesses should not refuse when they are called on"

(Al-Baqarah 2:282)

However, this should not be understood that given testimony is obligatory only when the witness is summoned . The prophet (PBUH) said:

"Should I not tell you about the best of witnesses? It is he who brings his testimony before he is even asked." (Muslim)

Allah S.W.T also said:

"... and do not conceal testimony; for whoever conceals it,- His heart is tainted with sin. And Allah Knows all that you do. "

(Al-Baqarah 2:283)

Based on this, an overwhelming number of Islamic scholars declared that Muslim participation is permissible in all political aspects including voting, nominating, and running for public offices. Many went on to saying that such Muslim participation is obligatory and it is sinful if a Muslim is negligent in this kind of participation, especially if his "No Vote" caused the election of a candidate who is not best for the job or caused the passage of a measure that is not in the best interest, from an Islamic standpoint, of humanity in general and Muslims in particular.

Then Abdullah said, "Fine but does my vote really count? Back where I came from, the presidential election, for example, was always won by 99.999% of the votes!"

In true democracies you will not see the 99.999%. For example in the 2000 Presidential election , in Florida Bush got 2,912,790 votes while Gore got 2,912,253 votes. As a result Bush won the election by only 517 votes. Also in the 2008 general election for congress in the Ohio 15th district, Mary Jo Kilroy defeated Steve Stivers by only 2311 votes (most likely the Muslim votes) out of more than 304,000 cast.

I hope this convinces you how important is your vote!

"I really don't care since next year I'm going back home anyway!" Abdullah replied.

Well, Abdullah, I have been hearing you say this for the last 10 years and you're still hanging in here. The prophet (PBUH) said:

"If you happen to witness the start of the Day of Judgment and you have a plant and if you live enough just to plant it, then do so."(Ahmad & others)

So you owe it to yourself, to the country which opened its arms to you and gave you its citizenship, to the community in general and to the Muslim community to get out and vote for he or she who can do the best job and for the issue that benefits everyone.

Then Abdullah asked an important question, "Fine, fine. I should vote. But I don't know who is who. How can I vote?"

You are obligated to inform yourself on the issues and the candidates. Ask others if you don't. The League of Women Voters is a national organization with local chapters that is a good source of information on both candidates and issues, as are newspaper stories. Television ads, fliers published by a political party, and other ads may be poor sources of information. A meet the candidates event or a debate can give you some ideas about candidates.

You may argue that back in 2000 we followed the recommendations of knowledgeable Islamic organizations and we were wrong. True, but you do your best and what happen later is with God's hands and wisdom.

"Say: "I have no power over any good or harm to myself except as Allah wills. If I had knowledge of the unseen, I should have multiplied all good, and no evil should have touched me......."

(Al-A'raf 7:188)

"I need to confess I don't trust any candidate. They're all liars. They promise you so many things and once elected they break all their promises. Therefore I'm not voting!" Abdullah continued to argue.

They're not all the same. There are many honest and trustworthy candidates. Look for them. And circumstances they encounter once elected often sidetrack them or block them from doing many of the things they dream of. Most people go into politics, particularly at the local level, because they truly want to make things better. We have to be reasonable about the jobs we send them to do.

Undoubtedly you will not find a perfect candidate for any post, a candidate that agrees with you on all issues. Just use your best judgment and vote for the most suitable person for the position from the perspectives of moral character and qualifications for the position. And remember that each vote will affect you, your family and your community whether you voted or not.

So be part of the solution. Get off the couch and vote.

Finally Abdullah conceded and said:

"Thank you my friend. I will see you at the polls on November 2nd, Inshallah, and we all will vote for the best candidates and vote for issues that are good for the community in general and for us, the Muslim minority living in the West in particular."

OK, I might see you then, but we don't have to wait to the last day to vote. We can vote early in Franklin County if we go to 280 E. Broad Street instead of our regular polling places. You can find out the days and hours for early voting at

http://vote.franklincountyohio.gov/

Actually this website has important information for all voters, like what kind of ID to bring for voting and a sample ballot so you can prepare yourself better. If you aren't familiar with where your regular polling place is for voting on November 2, you can look it up on this website, as well as find out if you are correctly registered. You can report your changed address when you move as well. Each time you move you must correct your voter registration information.

Abdullah, let's spend the evening of November 2nd at my place watching the election results while having dinner together. I know a great chicken recipe and I'll kick it up a notch for you since you love hot spices.

Islamic Marriage Referral based on family networking By Dr. M.N.Tarazi, Aug 1, 2010

"Please find me a good husband for my daughter," a friend of mine asked me many times. Another mom asked my sister if she knows someone from "this country" for her 20 year old son. Another mother asked me to find a good Muslim girl for her son and a widow asked me to recommend someone to her! Many brothers and sisters have expressed their interest in getting married as well and complained about the difficulty in networking. So many men and women are trying hard to find the right spouse. With a diverse community such as ours it is extremely difficult to find someone from the few families that you know. We are spread out and lack large social networks.

There are many "Muslim Matrimonial" services online and a number of brothers and sisters are using them. Unfortunately I've personally witnessed some failed marriages from these services. I believe these were caused when compatibility was not determined well enough. And a large number of boys and girls do not feel comfortable putting out their pictures and their résumé online for the general public, so the services don't address the needs of many.

I'm launching this initiative www.islamicmarriagereferral.com where a data base of willing grooms and brides to be will be established and kept away from the general public. A team of respected brothers and sisters of our community, of diverse backgrounds, accepted to work as volunteers with me in sorting and studying the data base, inquiring about the families involved and providing counseling as needed.

When we feel a reasonable compatibility exists between a groom to be and a bride to be, then the families of the man and the women are contacted and introduced to each other. From that point on the families will find the best way for the boy and the girl to contact and speak to each other, in public spaces, by phone, through face book or e-mail. With Allah's help and blessing this will lead to a very successful marriage. For those without family or divorced or widowed individuals, we will contact close friends or relatives that they indicate, to assist in arranging introductions.

Some boys and girls are very much interested in getting married when they are young and even from a different culture but their families are opposed to such marriages. We will discuss and counsel the families in an effort to find a good compromise for the best interest of all.

Divorced and widowed people in our community particularly need assistance in finding new companionship. Our life spans are much longer than in past generations and the old model of parents living in their children's homes in their later years is not adequate for the needs of healthy active older people. We want to provide assistance to them.

We will provide pre and post marriage counseling to ensure the continuous success of the marriage, the most important institution in Islam.

At this stage of the project, priority will be given to residents of Ohio and the surrounding states. All candidates will be asked to submit references.

We ask Allah (s.w.t.) to bless this effort and help us establish and sustain successful marriages.

The Wife-Beating Issue and Its Impact On Our Community By Dr. M.N.Tarazi, July 17, 2010

"Your mother is so great that I did not have to beat her up once in the thirty years we have been married!" a father told his sons as he was trying to praise his wife.

"Every time she will talk back at me I will slap her," a brother told me as I was trying to provide marital counseling for him and his wife. Apparently he had "smacked" her before they came to see me. The mind boggling thing is that when I asked him, "What did she say to you that caused you to hit her?" he replied, "We had an argument and she provoked me so I said to her "Haywaneh!" (you're an animal!) Then she dared to talk back at me saying, "Inteh el Haywan" (you're the animal). Then I exercised my "God given right" to beat her up."

Though this is hardly a common idea in our community, if only a few brothers follow this misunderstanding of our religion, it damages their families and it damages our whole community.

The opponents of Islam often accuse Islam and Muslims of mistreatment of women and allowing men to beat up their wives referring to the Quranic verse 4:34. Unfortunately some Muslim men do strongly believe that this verse in the Quran gives them some "God given right" to beat their wives.

Yusuf Ali translated this verse as follows ".....As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) , refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly)..."

"disloyalty and ill-conduct" is how Yusuf Ali translated the Arabic term ''nushuz" coming from the wife towards her husband, while Muhammad Asad rendered it, in this context, as "ill-will" and explains it in his footnotes " Deliberate, persistent breach of her marital obligations". Ali and Asad, both used the word "beat" as a translation of the Arabic term "wadhribuhunne" derived from the verb "daraba" used in the verse.

Before we elaborate further on the issue of "beating" we immediately can see that the verse is exclusively addressing very specific and serious problems. Nushuz is not 'problems' or disputes that arise if you come home hungry and find your supper a bit salty, or not ready, or later in the evening if she irritates you by telling you all that happen to her that day, which may be of no interest to you at all, while you are watching the end of an adventure movie on Satellite TV. Nushuz is actions that violate the wife's marital obligations to her husband, like being untrustworthy or dishonest, or threatening his honor, his reputation, or refusing to have intimate relations with him (within the Islamic boundaries). Please note that "nushuz" can also happen from the husband towards his wife as indicated in the Quran and there are ways to deal with that too, but I chose not to cover that topic in this posting.

Quran and Sunnah teach us that Islamic marriage is build on mutual love, mercy, trust, respect, fulfilling each other's reasonable sexual needs, desire for having children, consultation and sharing etc. So how could "beating" fit into this beautiful picture of a model Islamic marriage!

Sheikh Mohammad Al-Ghazali (Rahimahu Allah)in his book, Women's Issues Between the Stagnant Traditions and the Imported Ones said, "I did not find , in the (Islamic) Shariah, a justification for the use of darb [beating] except in two circumstances;

1) the wife refuses to have sexual relation [as permitted and within the boundaries of Islam] with her husband

2)or even worse when she brings male outsiders into her home in the absence of her husband [which could ultimately lead to suspicion which can escalate to spying or to a beginning of cheating]."

He added that even in these extreme cases, when he, the husband, resorts to the 3rd step (beating) of the family dispute resolution plan [verse 4:34], it should be using a soft object such as miswak [a twig used as a toothbrush] and that is by the consensus of authorities, avoiding the face and without calling bad names or humiliating her.

Let's look at how this Quranic verse creates a three-step dispute resolution plan to reconcile a couple when the wife is in error, and supports the family structure. When a woman becomes rebellious or thoughtless of her husband and refuses to discharge her Islamic duties to her husband, the husband is asked to verbally express his frustration and unhappiness about the situation in a very nice way, (no cussing, no shouting, no humiliating). This kind of communication works very well in most situations. The wife cannot guess what is on her husband's mind, (especially during their first years of marriage), and continuous communication would avoid many problems. Some time should be given to this effort. (If he starts communicating nicely with his wife he may find out that her behavior is actually a response to some poor behavior on his part, like neglect or disrespect and they both have improvements to make.)

If this strategy does not work and the wife continues persistently to refuse to perform her duties under Islam, particularly refusing to have sexual relations (as permitted and within the boundaries of Islam) with her husband or playing games with her attractiveness, then the husband is asked to go to step two. In this step he purposely suspends sex relation.

When the man initiates the suspension of sex relations, this should send a powerful message to the wife expressing the degree of misery the husband is going through that pushes him to declare that his wife is no more attractive to him. It is recommended during this stage, which may last several months , that the husband continue to be kind to his wife and talk to her (suspension of talk for more than three days is forbidden). This method works with some women. They start thinking that their charm is no longer effective and that they are starting to lose their husbands and they will end the dispute.

Obviously, if the husband does not see improvement during this stage, then prolonging it will just be hurting him. Finally he can end this stage by going to step three.

One would wonder however, how barely touching the women's arm or leg (in step three) with such a soft object (miswak) could make any impact on her to change her mind about her behavior? Is there a different plausible interpretation of the word "wadhrebuhunne" of this third step?

Actually, the word "daraba" and some of its derivatives are used in the Quran 58 times with various shades of meaning, some of which are: to give examples, to explain, to set up, to take away, to ignore, to condemn, to cover, to seal, to strike or hit, to travel, to beat, to get out.

Back in 1995 Edip Yuksel wrote (in a forwarded e-mail message entitled "Beating Women, Or Beating Around The Bush") that the meaning of the term 'wadhribuhunne' , in this context, should be understood for the husband "to strike his wife out", (start the separation process which can lead to divorce), if the first and the second stage suggested in verse 4:34 don't work out.(This opinion is mentioned here for its historical place and relevance to the issue at hand and should absolutely not be considered as an endorsement to his overall philosophy and work on Islam and Islamic Issues).

This new understanding of the term 'wadhribuhunne' was echoed by Dr. Abdulhamid A. Abusulayman, President of The International Institute of Islamic Thought, in 2002 in his book Darb Al-Mara'ah:Wasilah li-Hall Al-Khilafat Al-Zawjiyah . Dr. Abusulayman is telling the husband at this stage to leave and distance himself from his wife. He supported his opinion by citing the action of the Prophet (pbuh) when he left all of his wives for one month, when they showed unhappiness with the way they were living and demanded a better lifestyle that the Prophet could not provide for them. Then he gave them a choice to accept his way of life or to divorce them. This is significant and demonstrates that a women cannot be forced to stay in a marriage she does not like.

After leaving the house, outside help and arbitration must be sought to get this dispute resolved in an equitable way. This is the first time when the issue should be brought out to outsiders for arbitration as indicated in the Quran. Nevertheless, at any stage of the dispute, husband and wife can and are encouraged to seek outside help and advice from trusted knowledgeable members of our community (avoid relatives if neutrality and objectivity could be questioned) and sometimes professional family counselors are of great need.

Finally, please remember that under no circumstances does Islam allow someone to, punch, shove, pinch, slap ,pull hair, curse, cuss, or insult his or her spouse. If fear of Allah doesn't impress someone, he should be reminded that in this country he may end up in jail if he uses force of any sort against his spouse. I have seen brothers arrested when they ignored my plea to them to avoid force and resorted to violence against their wives. (I have not witnessed a woman beating her husband (yet).)

I write this to advise our community to stand up to those who need education on this issue. Our community is not healthy if any of our families are torn by what is generally called domestic violence. We need to help our less knowledgeable brothers, and sisters as well. Please pass on this information to those in need. I wish for the best well being for all of our families.